Myself and Laura sat down to make the changes together, as we found this worked a lot better the past few times we have done it, and also there weren't too many changes to make, so it wouldn't take too long to do.
We decided to kill two birds with one stone, by changing part of Marie's dialogue in Scene 1. When she mentioned Brian, we've changed it to her mentioning Jean Paul instead. This brings in the idea that Marie is married with kids early on in the episode, and it works a lot better than if Brian was mentioned.
In that same scene, we have changed it so Marie says "leave us alone" instead of "leave me and my family alone". As soon as we changed this, it made the scene flow better and it gave a better sense to the character being very down to the point.
Similarly, in scene 3, Marie has a lot of dialogue, so we've changed it and included the "ordinary doesn't cut it" line. Before Marie said "No, I've got celebrities coming in and I need to prepare. You have to go! I don't have room for ordinary anymore.", but we've changed it to something shorter, like "Look, ordinary just doesn't cut it anymore." We think this works a whole lot better, and it moves the scene along a lot faster. We also used this line as a segway to the space Simon wanted between them reading the newspaper and coming up with the solution. Straight after Dean picks up the newspaper and starts reading it, Annie starts to question Marie's ordinary comment. We've added a bit of comedy within this as well, through Annie mentioning page 3, and talking about killing off Dean. We really like this addition to the scene and we think it adds to the humour of the episode, which is really effective and entertaining for the audience. This break is long enough for them to think about the solution, but it's not too long that it make the script longer than it should be, which was my concern when Simon mentioned this.
We then moved onto including 'The Last Dish' somewhere else in the episode. We looked through the script and thought it would work really well in Scene 12, where they go back to Marie's house. Instead of Dean saying to Marie that he had bought some sweets for them to have, we have changed it so he says he'll be competing on 'The Last Dish'. Not only does this emphasise the show, it gives a clear indication that it's a show where you apply to be on it, clearing up the reason for Dean's determination.
We've also thought it would be a really good idea to have an advert for 'The Last Dish' to come onto the TV, so we've added this into the action just as Annie falls from her yoga pose. Along with this, we want the film crew to wear t-shirts that have 'The Last Dish' logos on them, to add to the details of the show and just to make the show a clear aspect of the episode.
I really like the changes we have made, and I think, apart from a few minor changes that can be made once we start script read throughs, the story is complete. From the first draft we made, this story has developed a lot, but it's developed in a really good and positive way. I'm excited to see what the cast and crew think of the script, and I'm looking forward to getting all the characters in together to read through the whole episode.
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