Script Changes | Development

Upon getting feedback from Simon on our first draft of the script, myself and Laura got together and thought about what we could do to add a problem to our story.

We started thinking of possible ways we could introduce the problem with the children and the grandchildren, and how to carry a problem throughout the episode. This was the result of our brainstorm:

We have decided to start the episode with a teaser, and this will be a new scene that I will add into the script. It will be set at the park, and the action will be Annie and Dean spying on their grandchildren to see what they are up to, since their children won't let them see them. The purpose of this is to introduce the idea that Annie & Dean's children don't want to see them, therefore they must become young and famous to get their attention back. This scene will only be about a page or two pages long, but it'll only be short, so the duration of the video doesn't increase.
We also discussed the idea of Annie failing at Instagram being a good problem for her to have. We thought she could have a few lines of dialogue discussing how she doesn't get it and feels like she is failing at keeping their children and grandchildren interested. This will be added throughout the episode, through some of both Annie & Dean's dialogue.
We also wanted to involve Instagram a bit more, so now Annie will take a picture of Claire crying during her rant, and Claire will teach her about hashtags to keep the aim of youthfulness alive. And along with that, this brings Annie more views on her video of Jordan Hamsay puking the cookies up, and therefore the children are more interested in their parents. The episode will then end with the children calling Annie & Dean up and asking them if they want to come over for Christmas.

We feel these new changes will make big impact on our script, and will help develop the story further. We have also changed some of the action, and the dialogue as Simon said in his feedback.